The Cookie Jar

Previously, I posted a video of a guy trapped in an elevator for 41 hours. That's just shy of two days. There was an accompanying article that talked a lot about elevators, but basically boiled down to how angry the guy was (and rightfully so) and how he quit his job and sued and basically screwed himself with an overly long pity party over the experience. Then there's this lady who was stuck in a much tinier elevator for FOUR DAYS at the ripe old age of 85!



And did she flip out and sue somebody? No, because she's a nun and she's grateful for the experience! If only we all could keep such a cool head. You don't need to be a nun to handle a situation gracefully. It's a shame that grace is such a lost art these days.

Yanno what really annoys me about news websites? Making me click multiple pages for a single article. Why in the world would you split up an article onto three pages on the internet?! Oh yeah, so you can put more fecking ads! -_-

Dark always tells me that I find the weirdest news articles. It's true. Most of the news I read is just weird news. Well, I though I'd share a bit of that weird news. So, this one guy, loves nature so much, he decided to set traps on a bike trail including broken glass and wires strung and neck level to cut down unsuspecting bikers. He wanted to save the little woodland creatures....

Then there's the Animal Killing PETA people. Despite them driving around in a van, "adopting" pets from the pound and killing them in the back of said van, they've been found innocent of animal cruelty. They were giving them a "humane" death I guess. Ok...so you couldn't leave them there to possibly be adopted? You had to kill them. Good job you PETA jackassses -_-

In other OMG! Pet news this poor pup got his tongue shredded in a paper shredder! Don't watch if you can't stomach it. Paper Shredder Wounds Puppy

In less depressing pet news, there's this really cute on youtube of a dog who wants to date Barney, the first dog. Now there's a little news clip on it, A case of 'puppy' love

Sending ducks cross country? Use air mail!

Have you ever heard of an Art-O-Mat? Neither have I, but it sounds really neat!

Lastly, we have the showstopper. I think this is the weirdest thing I've read in a looooooong time. Stripper's blazing performance makes fans shout 'fire' in a crowded theater Here are some of the highlights:

As the curtain went up and the bump-and-grind music begins, Yoko would artfully peel her garments and proceed to a series of eight routines. All involved use of the highly developed muscles in her reproductive apparatus. While not necessarily in the following order, she would make use of her vaginal sphincter to toot notes from a toy trumpet; click a toy clacker; twist the screw-off cap from a bottle of Oronamin C vitamin tonic; snap a wooden pencil in half; bend a metal spoon from a curry restaurant; inhale smoke from a cigarette and blow rings; and make like a blowgun, shooting darts to pop toy balloons.

Then came the climax of her stage performance, the routine from she got the stage name "Flaming Yoko": She would inject a quantity of alcohol into her vagina, part her thighs and spurt the liquid towards a waiting flame.

Also, this brought a chuckle:

If there were an Olympic event for this sort of thing, Japan would surely be in the running for a gold medal. A dart propelled from her nether blowgun was once measured at 180km per hour --- as fast as one thrown by hand.

So...yeah, weird news. Cheer!